Things Only Adults Notice In GI Joe

When the kids who were obsessed with Duke, Snake Eyes, and Scarlett watch G.I. Joe as adults, they probably notice some things. From the stuff that’s even better than you remember, to the episodes that are just too weird, here are the things only adults notice in G.I. Joe.

Cobra's fantastic benefits

The opening credits of every episode of G.I. Joe describe Cobra as "a ruthless terrorist organization determined to rule the world."

But when you go back to the show as an adult, it's easy to see them as a little less "terrorist" and a little more "corporate America." Sure, they occasionally pull off schemes like building a machine that will literally burn up all the money in the world or stashing nuclear missiles at fast food restaurants, but structurally speaking, they really have more in common with Amazon than ISIS.

That mostly comes through in the comics, where we learn that Cobra Commander got his start basically running a pyramid scheme, and lured potential sleeper agents into joining his cause by offering competitive salaries and even health insurance, complete with a dental plan. Of course, the dentistry had to be done by Dr. Mindbender, whose standard uniform of cape, giant metal codpiece, and zero shirts might make you reconsider getting treatment for all but the most painful toothaches, but benefits are benefits, folks. The cartoon, however, follows along, and the glimpses that we get of Cobra Corporate show that they actually treat their employees way better than the good guys do.

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Cobra's fantastic benefits: | 00:00
Cobra battles the budget: | 02:14
States' rights: | 03:15
The world's worst band: | 04:31
There's lots of supernatural stuff: | 06:11
Shockingly sophisticated politics: | 07:10
Serious psychological torture: | 08:58
Not every character created equal: | 10:18
The Hasbro Cinematic Universe: | 11:59

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